Overview and Directions: I would you to compose your own poem. Please explore different poetic forms, rhyme schemes, use of alliteration, assonance, consonance, and think about scansion and diction. NOTE: I want to see your writing process, so drafts are a must. If you compose your work electronically, please save multiple drafts. These will count as journal entries, too. Use that space to explore. Think about themes or poetic situations. I will include some writing prompts and a list of forms to help you begin.
Please post your completed poem to Turnitin.com AND on this blog space (you can just share a stanza if you like) by Friday, March 6th. Final performances will NOT be mandatory. Extra credit only.
If you are pleased with your work, please consider the three poetry reading experiences I shared in the previous blog post. I would love to read with you.
Poetry Writing & Performance Rubric
- Multiple drafts in your journal
- Overall quality and completeness of the final writing product
- Development of theme (i.e. clarity and consistency)
- Appropriate use of literary devises and poetic form
- Final Poem posted in Turnitin.com AND in this blog space
- Performance and reading
- Conduct during writing workshop/SLAM readings
101 Poetry Prompts & Ideas for Writing Poems
from think written
Most of these creative writing ideas are simple and open-ended. This allows you total creative freedom to write from these poetry prompts in your own unique style, tone, and voice.
If one poetry idea doesn’t appeal to you, challenge yourself to find parallels between the prompt and things that you do enjoy writing about.
1.The Untouchable: Something that will always be out of reach
2. 7 Days, 7 Lines: Write a poem where each line/sentence is about each day of last week
3. Grandma’s Kitchen: Focus on a single memory, or describe what you might imagine the typical grandmother’s kitchen to be like
4. Taste the Rainbow: What does your favorite color taste like?
5. Misfits: How it feels when you don’t belong in a group of others.
6. Stranger Conversations: Start the first line of your poem with a word or phrase from a recent passing conversation between you and someone you don’t know.
7. On the Field: Write from the perspective of a sports ball {Baseball, Soccer, American Football, Lacrosse, etc.} – think about what the sports ball might feel, see, hear, think, and experience with this poetry idea!
8. Street Signs: Take note of the words on signs and street names you pass while driving, walking, or riding the bus. Write a poem starting with one of these words you notice.
9. Cold water: What feelings do you associate with cold water? Maybe it’s a refreshing cold glass of water on a hot day, or maybe you imagine the feelings associated with being plunged into the icy river in the winter.
10. Ghostwriter: Imagine an invisible ghost picks up a pen and starts writing to you.
11. Lessons From Math Class: Write about a math concept, such as “you cannot divide by zero” or never-ending irrational numbers.
12. Instagram Wall: Open up either your own Instagram account or one of a friend/celebrity and write poetry based on the first picture you see.
13. Radio: Tune in to a radio station you don’t normally listen to, and write a poem inspired by the the first song or message you hear.
14. How To: Write a poem on how to do something mundane most people take for granted, such as how to tie your shoes, how to turn on a lamp, how to pour a cup of coffee.
15. Under 25 Words: Challenge yourself to write a poem that is no more than 25 words long.
16. Out of Order: Write about your feelings when there is an out of order sign on a vending machine.
17. Home Planet: Imagine you are from another planet, stuck on earth and longing for home.
18. Uncertainty: Think about a time in your life when you couldn’t make a decision, and write based on this.
19. Complete: Be inspired by a project or task be completed – whether it’s crossing something off the never-ending to-do list, or a project you have worked on for a long time.
20. Compare and Contrast Personality: What are some key differences and similarities between two people you know?
21. Goodbyes: Write about a time in your life you said goodbye to someone – this could be as simple as ending a mundane phone conversation, or harder goodbyes to close friends, family members, or former partners.
22. Imagine Weather Indoors: Perhaps a thunderstorm in the attic? A tornado in the kitchen?
23. Would You Rather? Write about something you don’t want to do, and what you would rather do instead.
24. Sound of Silence: Take some inspiration from the classic Simon & Garfunkel song and describe what silence sounds like.
25. Numbness: What’s it like to feel nothing at all?
26. Fabric Textures: Use different fiber textures, such as wool, silk, and cotton as a poetry writing prompt.
27. Anticipation: Write about the feelings you experience or things you notice while waiting for something.
28. Poison: Describe something toxic and its effects on a person.
29. Circus Performers: Write your poetry inspired by a circus performer – a trapeze artist, the clowns, the ringmaster, the animal trainers, etc.
30. Riding on the Bus: Write a poem based on a time you’ve traveled by bus – whether a school bus, around town, or a long distance trip to visit a certain destination.
31. Time Freeze: Imagine wherever you are right now that the clock stops and all the people in the world are frozen in place. What are they doing?
32. The Spice of Life: Choose a spice from your kitchen cabinet, and relate its flavor to an event that has happened recently in your daily life.
33. Parallel Universe: Imagine you, but in a completely different life based on making a different decision that impacted everything else.
34. Mad Scientist: Create a piece based on a science experiment going terribly, terribly wrong.
35. People You Have Known: Make each line about different people you have met but lost contact with over the years. These could be old friends, passed on family, etc.
36. Last Words: Use the last sentence from the nearest book as the inspiration for the first line of your poem.
37. Fix This: Think about something you own that is broken, and write about possible ways to fix it. Duct tape? A hammer and nails? Use this hammer as inspiration for a poetry prompt idea!
38. Suspicion: Pretend you are a detective and you have to narrow down the suspects.
39. Political News: Many famous poets found inspiration from the current politics in their time. Open up a newspaper or news website, and create inspired by the first news article you find.
40. The Letter D: Make a list of 5 words that start with all with the same letter, and then use these items throughout the lines of your verse. {This can be any letter, but for example sake: Daisy, Dishes, Desk, Darkness, Doubt}
41. Quite the Collection: Go to a museum, or look at museum galleries online. Draw your inspiration from collections of objects and artifacts from your favorite display. Examples: Pre-historic days, Egyptians, Art Galleries, etc.
42. Standing in Line: Think of a time you had to stand in line for something. Maybe you were waiting in a check-out line at the store, or you had to stand in line to enter a concert or event.
43. Junk Mail Prose: Take some inspiration from your latest junk mail. Maybe it’s a grocery store flyer announcing a sale on grapes, or an offer for a credit card.
44. Recipe: Write your poem in the form of a recipe. This can be for something tangible, such as a cake, or it can be a more abstract concept such as love or happiness. List ingredients and directions for mixing and tips for cooking up your concept to perfection.
45. Do you like sweaters? Some people love their coziness, others find them scratchy and too hot. Use your feelings about sweaters in a poem.
46. After Party: What is it like after all party guests go home?
47. Overgrown: Use Little Shop of Horrors for inspiration, or let your imagination run wild on what might happen if a plant or flower came to life or started spreading rapidly to take over the world.
48. Interference: Write a poem that is about someone or something coming in between you and your goals.
49. On Shaky Ground: Use an earthquake reference or metaphor in your poem.
50. Trust Issues: Can you trust someone you have doubted in the past?
51. Locked in a Jar: Imagine you are a tiny person, who has been captured and put into a jar for display or science.
52. Weirder Than Fiction: Think of the most unbelievable moment in your life, and write a poem about the experience.
53. Fast Food: Write a poem about fast food restaurants and experiences. Do you like fast food? Write about a recent fast food experience in a poem – good or bad!
54. Unemployed: Write a poem about quitting or being fired from a job you depended on.
55. Boxes: What kinds of family secrets or stories might be hiding in that untouched box in the attic?
56. No One Understands: Write about what it feels like when no one understands or agrees with your opinion.
57. Criminal Minds: Write a poem from the perspective of a high-profile criminal who is always on the run from law enforcement.
58. Marathon Runner: Write a poem about what training you might be doing to accomplish a difficult challenge in your life.
59. Trapped: Write about an experience that made you feel trapped.
60. Passing the Church: Write a poem about noticing something interesting while passing by a church near your home.
61. Backseat Driver: Write about what it’s like to be doing something in your life and constantly being criticized while trying to move ahead.
62. Luster: Create a descriptive poem about something that has a soft glow or sheen to it.
63. Clipboard: Write a poem about someone who is all business like and set in their ways of following a system.
64. Doctor: Write a poem about receiving advice from a doctor.
65. First Car: Write an ode to your first car
66. Life Didn’t Go As a Planned: Write about a recent or memorable experience when nothing went according to plan.
67. Architect: Imagine you are hired to design a building for a humanitarian cause you are passionate about.
68. The Crazy Cat Hoarder: Write about someone who owns far too many cats.
69. Queen: Write a poem from the perspective of a queen.
70. Movie Character: Think of a recent movie you watched, and create a poem about one character specifically, or an interaction between two characters that was memorable.
71. Potential Energy: Write about an experience where you had a lot of potential for success, but failed.
72. Moonlight: Write about an experience in the moonlight.
73. Perfection: Write about trying to always keep everything perfect.
74. You Are Wrong: Write a poem where you tell someone they are wrong and why.
75. Sarcasm: Write a poem using sarcasm as a form of illustrating your point.
76. Don’t Cry: Write a poem about how not to cry when it’s hard to hold back the tears.
77. Listen Up: Write a poem telling someone they are better than they think they are.
78. Flipside: Find the good in something terrible.
79. Maybe They Had a Reason: Write a poem about someone doing something you don’t understand, and try to explain what reasons they might have had.
80. How to Drive: Write a poem that explains how to drive to a teenager.
81. Up & Down the Steps: Write a poem that includes the motion of going up or down a staircase
82. Basket Case: Has there ever been a time when you thought you might lose your mind? Jot your feelings and thoughts down in verse form.
83. Lucky Guess: Many times in our life we have to make a good guess for what is the best decision. Use this poetry idea to write about feelings related to guessing something right – or wrong.
84. Dear Reader: What audience enjoys reading the type of poetry you like to write? Craft a note to your potential audience that addresses their biggest fears, hopes, and dreams.
85. All or Nothing: Share your thoughts on absolutist thinking: when one’s beliefs are so set in stone there are exceptions.
86. Ladders in the Sky: Imagine there are ladders that take you up to the clouds. What could be up there? What feelings do you have about climbing the ladders, or is their a mystery as to how they got there in the first place? Where might this ladder to the sky lead? Write about it!
87. Always On My Mind: Compose a poem about what it’s like to always be thinking about someone or something.
88. Paranoia: What would it be like if you felt like someone was watching you but no one believed you?
89. Liar, Liar: How would you react to someone who lied to you?
90. Secret Word: What’s the magic word to unlock someone’s access to something?
91. For What It’s Worth: Use a valuable object in your home as inspiration as a poetry prompt idea.
92. Coming Home to Secrets: Imagine a person who puts on a good act to cover up a secret they deal with at home.
93. Productivity: Talk about your greatest struggles with time management and organization.
94. Defying Gravity: Use words that relate to being weightless and floating.
95. Signs of the Times: How has a place you are familiar with changed over the past 10 years?
96. Sleepless Nights: What ideas and feelings keep you up at night? What’s it like when you have to wake up in the morning on a night you can’t sleep?
97. You Can’t Fire Me, I Quit: Use one of the worst job related memories you can think of as a creative writing prompt.
98. By George: You can choose any name, but think of 3-5 notable figures or celebrities who share a common first name, and combine their personalities and physical characteristics into one piece of poetry. For example: George Washington, George Clooney, George Harrison.
99. Shelter: Write a poem about a time you were thankful for shelter from a storm.
100. Cafeteria: Create a poem inspired by the people who might be eating lunch in a cafeteria at school or at a hospital.
101. Dusty Musical Instruments: Base your poem around the plight of a musician who hasn’t picked up the guitar or touched a piano in years.
There are unlimited possibilities for ways you can use these poem ideas to write poetry. Using a list like this can greatly help you with getting into the habit of writing daily – even when you don’t feel inspired to write. While not every poem you write will be an award-winning masterpiece, using these poem starters as a regular exercise can help you better your craft as a writer.
Gray Eyes, Red Smiles
ReplyDeleteby Allison De Angelis
Gray eyes, gray smiles
Gray sweatshirt that dangles off me for miles
Gray clouds gather and surround
because to you I am bound
Gray house we lived in together,
a storm hit that we couldn’t weather
Gray heart which beats so divine
out of sync, a stranger to mine
Gray shoes that you walk in, stomp in
all over me because I can’t win
Gray bones, ashes remain in that urn
and my heart, I would learn
Red hair, red smiles
That to keep I would walk for miles
Red sunset skies my life surround
because of you, I am no longer bound
Red paths we forge together
under red trees in autumn weather
Red freckles paint you so divine
all I want is for you to be mine
Red dreams of you linger in
compared to you gray will never win
Red hands rip my heart from that urn
and beat for another, I would learn
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNormalcy
ReplyDeleteThe boy was everything but himself.
“Devil Child,” they called him. Unnatural and not of this earth. “That hair of yours. Black enough to suck the light right out from the sun. If you knew what was good for you, you’d change it.”
So he dyed it.
Misshapen and unlike anyone else, they feared everything having to do with him. “Those teeth, a mess of twisting a turning bone, none the same size as the next. If I was you, I’d fill ‘em to look more normal.”
So he filled them.
They thought he was the son of the devil. “Those ears of yours, pointed like Satan himself,” they’d say. “You’d have to had inherited it from him. If you knew better, you’d try your best to hide them. Perhaps cut them off all together. ”
Instead, he carved them.
They criticized every and anything they could about him. He was wrong, unloved and blessed in all the wrong ways- possessed with the “beauty of a devil,” they said. He tried- anyone could see- tried to change himself and become what they expected him to be. Normal. Whatever normal truly meant. But it was never enough. He could change his physical appearance and act just like all the others, but still always be seen as different.
It was why when they told him he must do something with his eyes that he hesitated in agreeing. He understood they were trying to do him a kindness, but to rob him of his sight?
Desperately, he had changed what he was so he may be accepted, no longer shunned and hated. His whole life was hatred. He became different to be the same, as they had asked. But what was the worth of it if it asked him to wholly abandon himself so he wouldn’t even recognize who he was?
To blind him from seeing?
Blind him of him?
He could only wonder, though, as they handed him the blade, pausing for only a moment before bringing the point to meet the curve of his eye.
Rats
ReplyDeleteHow do we truly know when a tree is truly dead?
For a truly dying creature is still, what we call, alive
Perhaps, it slowly falls asleep, and drifts straight into dream
before it’s last fall leaf is taken by the autumn wind
For we can only lie awake when once we’re sound asleep
the mind goes wander- paths of gleaming thick and velvet red
For it’s the only path that our minds take and take again
That lead us to the depths of what can only be the deep
For are we really swimming if we cannot really breathe?
Like when our mouths fill up with dirt from cakey flower beds
Where grandma gets her dirty on on Sunday afternoons
And where the ripened fruit becomes so sour
For are we really free to live if we can’t break the bonds?
That tie us to the wooden floor that slowly fills with water
Until we lift our chins up high, the liquid to our ears, we say
“Look up, my child, see what lives we truly could've lived”
The world becomes so small when you can only run and hide
You hope the puma circles round the island just for fun, just as
You look out toward the sea to never see the great horizon, Only
night, that masks the jungle beast, the shadow, Until you’ve fallen
off the edge, your mind rolled into jelly for the rats, they burough
Deep into your gut to never find the other side, You reach
out into nothing, crinkling up the paper that is time, rip
it up, hand from foot from head, so forward doesn’t come, but forward
is the only way that we can move in this small world
For after all, we only really turn to look behind our backs, to when
we found ourselves awake in darkness, soft in milky beds
And looked upon by shimmering beads of light that made our hearts alive, like
portraits’s eyes that always follow us into the sunken well
Staring, until they know that we have seen them blink
Saturday Afternoons
ReplyDeleteWe vacationed to those golden arches
Collecting souvenirs from “Happy Meals”
Filling the silence by munching fries
Any conversation dries up on our tounges
We avoid eye contact by slurping,
Desperate to get the very last drop of rootbeer
I pick at the crusted stains of your velvet seats
Your car always has a faint ketchup smell
Your kisses goodbye feel like sandpaper on my cheek
I watch as you speed out of the driveway, only one hand on the wheel
I place the plastic toy in the “Made In China” museum
And I await your next visit
Night Sky
ReplyDeleteI look up
And there are only three stars in the night sky
It is as if the darkness is hiding all the life
The dancing stars
The watchful eyes
The natural beauty
And I realize I have been left alone
But before I saw that
I was drowning in corrupted euphoria
We would sip strawberry drinks
Red dripping from lips and arms
Staining everything we touched
In sync with each other
Growing forever intertwined
Our eyes met
And read our shared mind
And heard sleeping breaths
And dreamed of shiny futures
Everyone knew our laughter
It was as connected as we were
Together we would go places
Alone, we shut ourselves behind closed doors
We were squeezing
Strangling each other
Soon we were out of sync with ourselves
With the world
We were blind to what we did
but
I made the call
You woke up in a hospital bed
The universe is punishing me
It sees what I’ve done
And it knows what I deserve
It’s robbing me of one of the lonely stars
As I watch
it morphs into a far away plane
With the flash of a red light
And a drift away from reality
It disappears
There is more darkness than light
Two distant stars instead of three
Later
Wearing masks and
Climbing on rooftops
I toss money into thin air
Memories onto the backburner
Experiences into the bushes
I take creative liberties when I tell a story
I choose my audience with care
And precision
Kicking people out of the stadium when they get too close
And even sometimes
Knowingly letting the wrong people on stage with me
Even when they ruin the show
And the audience boos them as much as I do
But soon,
As I forget the taste of strawberry
And that dance routine we learned that time in that basement of that building,
I can see new faces coming closer
I can tolerate a hug when it’s time
Finally
Old nightmares are replaced with new memories
And I take control of my own life
When I look up again
The sky is crowded with stars
Winking at their success
Twinkling with happiness because I can finally see them
Stacks of boating magazines pile your desk
ReplyDeleteYour search history full of sailboat sales
Anchored off the shores of paradise
I admired the city lights from afar
But you were looking back out to sea
Itching to get back in the wind
-Rock Pockets-
ReplyDeleteIt is very important that children’s clothing has pockets
They have important things to store
Sticky fingers when it’s cold
Fern salad they made before school
But most importantly
Rocks
The little ones they find laying around
Different colors
Different shapes
The ones that spark when you hit them together
The ones where they remember exactly where they came from
These rocks
need somewhere to stay
Pockets
are the perfect place
Except when they need to be washed and mother yells because there are rocks in the washer
But see
The rocks are important to kids
They can be traded for different rocks
For silly bandz
Even for those little food shaped erasers
That girl with rocks in her driveway is very happy
But for the boy with no rocks in his apartment?
“I found these all by myself,” she’ll say to him
“Finders keepers,” she’ll say
“It’s really not that hard,” she’ll say
As if the boy also has a driveway full of rocks
As if all of her hard work would be ruined by sharing
As IF
She was even responsible for all these rocks being in her driveway
And in the pockets
Of her clothes
Non-refoulement: a principle of international human rights law, the practice of not forcing refugees or asylum seekers to return to a country in which they are liable to be subjected to persecution.
ReplyDeletePersecution
Persecute
Purse
Mine holding
My sons bottle
Flyer for lawyer promising ERASE ALL STUDENT DEBT
Mine spilling
Red lipstick
Red
Read the crumpled receipts, see if I can make the numbers work this May.
A pregnancy test
Open the door to the grey room
With the script.
MPP
Migrant Protection Protocols
A new rule book
A new rule book just like my son's soccer
No more head buts
There was a credible fear this cause brain damage
Credible fear
No more credible fear
Now evidence in paper
Paper
paper in my hand
The script
Open shut click
Open shut click
My manicured finger makes circles on the shiny metal table
His hands begin to swell in in the too tight handcuffs on the shiny metal table
His eyes, dark
his conscience light
My eyes, a light dusting of mascara
my conscience heavy
This sky blue suit, never glamourous
Suddenly flashy, against
the man with the swollen hands and the torn khakis
And the Boston red sox 2004 season opening day t shirt
Sole-less new balance
Sole-less
solace
Soul
Mine lies somewhere in the space between our hands
I slid it in the ballot box along with what I thought was the voice of the white working class
I dropped it somewhere in the shower at my home in the border town of Brownsville Texas, washed down the drain with the anxiety induced vomit, guilt induced chunks of my full, good, safe, dinner.
47,000 chunks down the drain
11 win refuge in my shower
maybe my soul was the slut that seduced order away from law.
perhaps I left it on my bosses desk in exchange for the script.
Sitting there rotting
If not gone already it lies somewhere between my sweating palms
And his shaking fingers.
Fingers which make their way up to chiseled arms that had carried his daughter from honduras to the tent camp.
Goosebumped arms that make their way
up to a neck that was nearly slit in the tent camp for refusing to give his daughter to the cartel.
A neck upon which sits a head
that knew enough that the gangs in Mexico would not rest unless he gave him their son.
Eyes in front of which my son was choked and dragged into a white van
While my hands were held behind my back
Feeling very similar to how they feel now
But this is not zip ties from the cartel
These are handcuffs manufactured by THE LAND OF THE FREE
The night the only color I could see were the same color as the paint on this woman's fingers,
Red
The color of my fingers
And he tells this to me
me
Holding in the question
That is his life preserver
Buoyant beyond the one he payed $35 dollars before he crossed the river
Were you discriminated against for your nationality, race, religion, politics, or being part of a particular social group, like LGBTQ?
Face redder as I cannot ask this question.
Not in
The script.
The Red
Alert
Alarm
“The cartel perpetrated systematic violence against houndurans”
The script
The script
Do you have evidence of this?
Only
Nightmares
And a daughter who won't stop crying
And a scar on my neck.
A missing son.
His face red
Red
Ready to go
Read me my rights
And so I do
My red lips are still touching
Immigrants
they get the job done
And
Now
So have I.
Excerpt from "Diamonds"
ReplyDeleteThere's time for
School and sports.
School and sports.
College apps.
Friends? No.
There's no time for a break
Just school
and
sports.
Yes, stress can kill just as well as any poison.
Taking years out of a life
Taking happiness out of a day.
And yet I stagger forth.
Onwards towards the finish line
Taking the last lap at half speed
Sliding - but still moving.
My motivation is on vacation
Just as I wish I was.
Go Bag: By Kerri Palmer
ReplyDeleteMonday Tuesday and every other weekend
My life since I was seven
Never understanding the meaning
One by one they stopped going
But me? Never
Packing a bag twice a week from home
To go to my other
Yet never feeling like one.
You never seem to be around,
Chasing a woman who chases your money,
Considered a hero in your line of work
Was my hero growing up,
But now? Just a roommate
Can’t even ask for the basic needs without a fight
Yet, that is your job as a parent.
I am the parent, always have been.
Ask for the respect that I deserve
So you lock yourself in your room
Trying to make it feel like home
Hanging clothes in the closet
Just for me to have to take them out
Never feeling like I have a place to call home
Putting those hung up clothes back in my bag
On the move once again
Grab my go bag and head home
To repeat the cycle
ReplyDeleteDrought
I wish the rain
would come back.
The sweet music to my ears.
The cool drops wrapping my skin
Like a refreshing blanket.
It’s been a month now.
The rain still hasn’t come.
It’s fogged,
Spit,
And maybe sprinkled,
But the cool pellets haven’t
Graced the earth.
It hasn’t filled empty buckets,
Or dripped from leaves,
Or leaked through cracked roofs,
Or soaked into the pavement,
Or collected in puddles.
Windshield wipers have rusted over.
Rain boots are too small now
Umbrellas have shriveled up.
Raincoats are collecting dust.
You were my rain,
But now I’m in drought.
When you left,
You took the rain with you.
Even if you left some for me,
It would have been poisoned.
If I had soaked up that water,
My bones would have turned brittle,
My heart would turn radioactive,
Blood glowing green beneath my skin.
So typical of you,
Taking what you want,
Never caring about my needs.
Leaving me all on my own,
To wonder, why?
Why did I have to be the one to dry up?
I was the one always wringing the cloth dry.
Why was I the one, using my own water,
Using what little supply I had left,
To clean the dirt off of us
To make us clean again.
You left my heart dry,
Like the thirsty earth,
Begging for the clouds to cry,
To fill up the cracks,
With rich water,
And make me whole again.
Branded in Ballardvale
ReplyDeleteThere is a man
He roams with hair like a lion
The rim of the hat divides his face in two
Never revealing the windows to his soul
His shoulders slump and his feet drag
The sharp street corner marks his slow progression
Oak street to Center to Church
Whispers pollute the air as he strolls
He catches darting eyes
Releasing them in horror
Observed from afar
His enigmatic existence disturbs visitors
Reminiscent of the streets he wanders
He comforts his fellow inhabitants
No one knows his name
Few know his story
Even less ask
His unspoken existence is branded in Ballardvale
Yellow Car
ReplyDeletethe yellow car you brought me
on my sixteenth birthday
we’ve been driving it for some time
there are no rides without bumps
but the yellow car
is smooth like good peanut butter
the yellow car you brought me
through many destinations,
birthdays
anniversaries
fights
laughs
nights out,
all spent with the loudest
love
simplicity
yet depth
and loyalty
known to heart
the yellow car you brought me
has driven me to a place
i didn’t know was possible
a place with
warm smiles
butterflies fluttering
and bright days
even when the sun isn’t out
thunderstorms
ReplyDeletei sat in bed
the weight of my blankets
the only protection from the rain
that pours violently in my room,
from the dark gray clouds gathering
the wind knocks my picture frames off my dresser,
sends clothes flying from the closet across the room
the thunder screams at me
not to move
the silence in between gives me false hope of an ending
the lightning slashes at my curtains
blinding, jagged sparks
slicing through the rain
filling my room with smoke
i choke on it, eyes filling with tears
a sunny oasis sits right outside
a bright cloudless sky,
flowers bathing in the light of the brilliant sun
inviting, golden light shines through the crack of the door
calling to me
but the storm holds me hostage
so far away
alone
afraid
isolated from the sun
by nothing
but two inches of oak painted white
ED, Ed, Eating disorder
ReplyDeletemy friend, my lover, me
Constantly telling me I’m not good enough
You hate me
But I love you
Because you make me feel special
You give me a purpose
I wish I had your willpower, they say
You look so good, they say
How did you do it, they say
Glamourized
Stigmatized
Ignored
Slowly their praise shifts to concern
I’m not hungry
I already ate
I’m too tired
Rules
Count your calories
Don’t drink your calories
Burn your calories
No dairy
No carbs
No fat
Your stomach sticks out
Your legs are fat
When will I be enough?
What’s left of me?
If I distance myself, I will reach my goal
Chasing that perfect version of myself
Goals are never enough
I thought everything would make sense in a skinnier shell
Two pounds
Five
Twenty
Quicksand
The more I struggle
The deeper I get
Stuck
I feel heavy
I can’t move
I can’t breathe
I want to be in control
But I am the farthest thing from in control
Fighting
Resisting
Heart beating so slowly they keep me in this sad, smelly, beeping room
I live a life of itchy gowns and sticky socks
I don’t even flinch at the needles anymore
Learn your acronyms
CBT
DBT
DEARMAN
SCREW
FAST
PLEASE
A whole new language
Two more bites
Boost or ensure
Blue or orange gatorade
Keep working please
Carryover
We’re proud of you
You look so healthy
Good intentions twisted in my mind
You’ve lost
You’ve gained weight
How can I go back
This is temporary
I now know that healing isn’t linear
Six months later the fog is clearing
Oh that's a real thing… by the way
They call it the anorexia fog
It literally clouds your thinking
Makes you think you can conquer the world
While you’re actually killing yourself
Emily and ED, Ed, Eating disorder are separate entities
I am worthy
I am beautiful
I don’t need my eating disorder to be special
I can live spontaneously
I am allowed to enjoy food
I am whole
Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness
Yet they are so often overlooked
Everyone’s story is different
But we are all connected
You are not alone
And recovery is worth it
Excerpt from "Walk on Kathleen Drive"
ReplyDeleteAnd it was then, right as I was about to
Step onto the driveway of my home,
That I realized
Sometimes when you are stressed,
You need to take a break from
Whatever you are doing.
You need to think about
All those times you have been stressed before,
Even though you may not want to relive those experiences.
Because you have made it out.
You have experienced worse.
You will be fine after the calc test
And whatever else is going on in your life.
Though my bones and flesh stand here
ReplyDeleteMy mind has gone elsewhere,
Following the illusions of tomorrow.
Exiled in the alcoves of my own imagination,
Made prisoner by the foundation of my being,
Relentlessly banging on the walls of my captivity.
But I do not come to my saving,
Trapped in the delusions of ease
Apathetic to my own despair,
I lay for days.
Waiting for my arrival
Expecting the savior that never comes,
The almighty…
Me.
But what if I never come?
what if-
all that is left of me is the constant reminder of my absence?
what will I do
once I have come to terms with my despair?
was I ever really me?
or simply a product of your delusional mind?
Toxic
ReplyDeleteNow I know
With the mind games you
Played
And the way you
Spoke
Trying to lure me
Trying to control me
Trying to seize me
That you are
Toxic
But I set my own rules
And
Enough is
enough
The Train
ReplyDeleteCan you hear it? It’s distant
Can you feel it? They can
Can you see it? I can’t
But from the middle of the room I watch
as they run excitedly to the door
It’s the best part of their day
until they hear it again in an hour
I can’t help but smile
They see something in this distant thunder
Something invigorating
Worth disrupting their routine
But me? I only wish I still could
When it passes they return to their toys
The moment is gone and they don’t mind
until next time, when they once again race to the door
Eyes lit up by the far off wonder
When did I stop feeling this magic?
Why did I let it become just another noise?
In the background, all but forgotten
They too will one day forget
But for now they are young
They believe and I envy that
The world is full of possibilities
I only wish they knew
Not to let them fade